What Did You Sign-on For?

September 1, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Butterflies have done it.

Snakes do it.

Chameleons are REAL big on it.

Madonna does it, and frequently, or so she’d have us believe.

I’ve even been known to sneak a quiet moment and do it myself!

What? Reinvention, of course. What else would I be talking about?

From Fauna to Folk

Just like our fauna friends, human beings reinvent ourselves in some way on a regular basis. It seems it’s an old embedded mechanism for our own survival.

And yet so many of us resist and struggle with change.

We certainly do reinvent physically as is evidenced by our hair colour or our body shapes. Compare photos of your mum and dad back in their early years and now. The evidence is there. It’s part of human life. There is no choice here. It just delivers.

But what about reinvention of our spiritual or emotional or mental selves? Do we have a choice there?
As I have often said, we can’t change our feelings but we can change our behaviours in reaction to those feelings. How does that impact on our relationships?

Reinventing Relating

In relationships, reinvention seems part of the changes in our roles and environments. Certainly our tasks, and competence at doing the tasks, change over the lives of our relationships.

We need to adapt to being eager newly-weds, careful parents, household project mavens, contributing employees, frustrated adolescent-guides, swift home-handypersons, attentive lovers, superior cooks, glamourous entertainers, nurturing pseudo-nurses, persistent teachers, creative gardeners, joyful empty-nesters, benevolent in-laws and grandparents, patient carers, active retirees, and grieving single-again widow/ers.

Along the way, we hopefully have learned a thing or two about the “me” that we bring to these roles and with that self-knowledge comes a different approach to each reinvention. Armed with what we’ve learned from our mistakes and our big wins we grow and tweak ourselves and bring to our partner an ever-dynamic, surprise package.

Or do we?

In your relationship, do you believe it’s your role to encourage growth, or squash it? How have you sought to nourish the growth of yourself as a person and that of your partner?

Tonight as you sit down over dinner, or on the couch together, why not ask your partner if she he/expected you to change and reinvent when your partnered up. Perhaps you could ask your partner to describe some of the reinventions she/he has noticed you go through over the years of your relationship.

What do you want to hear for an answer? An acknowledgement of your skill in resisting reinvention? Or a fascination at your evolution?

Have you stoically stuck to the old “you”, determinedly avoiding adaptation so that you kept delivering to your partner the person he/she first married? Not a whiff of reinvention was to cross to your door? Was that what you signed on for when you married? What do you think that was protecting you from?

Is that fair to your partner? Or to yourself?

To me, that seems a little like buying a rose plant and choosing to keep it pot-bound, in case it changes from that intriguing set of twigs and leaves into something bigger and perhaps unpredictable, with growth in places you don’t want. In case it turns into something that you can’t control.

Or did you sign on for a wild ride?

I know which I’d rather.

If you’d asked me way back when, I’d have thought I’d have wanted to keep the “me” and “him” that we started out with. I’ve never been one for unpredictability or wild rides! (They make me scared).

Now I know different. The evolution of both of us has been scarey, and wild, and challenging, and often uncompromising but at least I really know I’m alive and far from bored!

Posted by chris | Filed Under Relationship Space, September 08

Beautiful Transformations

September 1, 2008 | 2 Comments

Perhaps the most perfect reinvention is that of the butterfly emerging from its chrysalis after starting life as a caterpillar.

In many ways the process of getting organised is like the butterfly’s transformation. The caterpillar starts life earth-bound, sluggish. Less-than-organised folk start with sluggish, inefficient systems that keep them “earth-bound”, achieving less than full potential.

Then comes the period of change. For the caterpillar, it’s the confinement of the chrysalis, darkness and physical adaptation. For the starting-to-be-organised, the change takes the form of evaluating their possessions, reviewing how they’re stored, making some tough decisions and improving time management. Some of these changes will be uncomfortable and require persistence. But they will all be worth it.

The butterfly emerges beautiful, fast and free to fly where it pleases. The now-organised enjoys a more attractive environment, saves time, gets more done and is free to achieve much more.

Here are some tips for your own beautiful organising transformation:

Be clear about what you want to achieve - create a workable home office, make losing keys a thing of the past, get to work on time - what will your project be?
Make a plan and decide on a first step.
Get help if needed - an objective friend, a well-respected how-to book or use a Professional Organiser (be sure to choose one belonging to an industry association).
Forge ahead - once the job, starts see it through.
Maintain the new system - staying organised won’t happen by itself, but a good system will require just a little maintenance.

Posted by angela | Filed Under Organising Space, September 08

Creating a daily sun ritual

September 1, 2008 | 1 Comment

How can I look after my skin as summer nears?

We need to understand a few things about our Sun to appreciate the importance of protecting ourself while in the Sun. The Sun is by far the largest object in our solar system. It contains 98% of the solar system’s total mass. It would take 109 Earths to stretch across the Sun, and it would take over one million Earths to “fill up” the Sun if it were hollow. If you think of the Sun as being the size of a basketball, then the Earth would be about the size of the head of a pin.

Our sun is a fierce ball of raging fire and as it gets older it gets bigger and hotter. Our sun is the main contributor to our rise of C02 in the atmosphere and evaporation of our water supplies.

The Sun is the most powerful of all the stars and therefore we should worship its beauty and understand that if the earth is a pin head to the sun then we are a mere dust particle smaller then a pin head.

How to worship the sun

Start your day with a salute to the Sun, a great way to connect Mind Body and Spirit through deep breathing and yoga, try your local yoga studio to learn this wonderful exercise.

Stay out of the direct contact with the Sun Star between the hours of 11am to 4pm.

Cover yourself with clothing that protects the skin, your largest organ.

Apply suncare oils and sun blocks that are earth friendly and do not bake toxic ingredients into your skin. *

I like to appreciate the Sun everyday, the best time of the year for me is spring, and I love it. Flowers are out, leaves are green and the air is fresh. Start your day like so:

Wake up and head out to say good morning to the Sun Star, I repeat morning and night thank you Sun for your kindness and the abundance you bring. Without you Sun we have no life, be kind and show mercy on our planet and all life on it.
I do a salute to the Sun (takes 5-10 minutes). As I freshen up for the day I apply my hydrating suncare oil, I want to nourish my skin at all times, this is what gives it extra protection so I do not burn in the sun and teaches my skin to protect itself whilst giving a great boost of vitamins, minerals and essential fatty acids to my skin.

I drink plenty of water… a must to survive. I respect that without the Sun we are in darkness, without water we are dust.

My day ends as the sun goes down - I give praise to the Sun Star and its love for life.

Create your own daily ritual, you have to admit the Sun is something not to be feared but to be loved for its creation of life.

Sun (not to scale, but offers the importance of worshiping the Sun for its powerful light)

Earth

*Try blends from www.ebar.com.au like their Jasmin Hydrating Suncare Oil, or Soleo Sun Block.

Posted by joanne | Filed Under September 08, Spa Space

A journey of a thousand miles…

September 1, 2008 | 1 Comment

Our theme this month reminds me of my migration to Australia in August of 1987. Talk about a re-invention of self!

From learning not to take ‘bring a plate’ too literally : ) or restaurants serving ‘Authentic’ Asian Food it was a little for me, not as much a reinvention perhaps but rather a great lesson in self awareness.

I found at the end of the day the only thing separating us was culture but I also feel in more recent years ironically culture has become the initiator of tolerance and understanding as it shows – from food to weddings to family – we are all the same, hmmmm maybe not so much with food ; )

Having been lucky to do a fair bit of travelling in the past has added to this realisation. No matter where we are we cry and laugh at the same things, we bleed blood of the same colour and our hearts warm together like the kindred spirits we are - it’s just our personalities that get in the way and that happens the world over too! : )

I have chosen books this month on the topic of travel as I believe there is no better time for a reinvention of self to take place. Witnessing how others experience life in a setting different to what we are used to should only help open our eyes to who we ourselves are - some come home, kiss the ground then walk on and live life the same way and others come home, kiss the ground and have a new appreciation of who they AND the rest of the world are…

Fried Eggs with Chopsticks - Polly Evans

When she learnt that the Chinese had built enough new roads to circle the equator sixteen times, Polly Evans decided to go and witness for herself the way this vast nation was hurtling into the technological age. But on arriving in China she found the building work wasnt quite finished.

Squeezed up against Buddhist monks, squawking chickens and on one happy occasion a soldier named Hero, Polly clattered along pot-holed tracks from the snow-capped mountains of Shangri-La to the bear-infested jungles of the south.

She braved encounters with a sadistic masseur, a ridiculously flexible kung-fu teacher, and a terrified child who screamed at the sight of her. In quieter moments, Polly contemplated China’s long and colourful history the seven-foot-tall eunuch commander who sailed the globe in search of treasure; the empress that chopped off her rivals hands and feet and boiled them to make soup and pondered the bizarre traits of the modern mandarins.

And, as she travelled, she attempted to solve the ultimate gastronomic conundrum: just how does one eat a soft-fried egg with chopsticks?

Dark Star Safari - Paul Theroux

In this title, Paul Theroux sets off for Cape Town from Cairo - the hard way. Travelling across bush and desert, down rivers and across lakes, and through country after country, he visits some of the most beautiful and dangerous landscapes on earth.

It is a journey of discovery and of rediscovery - of the unknown and the unexpected - charting places unknown and those known as a young teacher 40 years before. In the Swahili language, the word safari simply means journey, and this - to Theroux - is the ultimate journey. It is a trip where chance encounter is everything, where departure and arrival time are an irrelevance and where contentment can be found balancing on top of a truck in the middle of nowhere.

Absolutely Faking it - Tiana Templeman

Thirteen luxury hotels, five months… no money. For Tiana Templeman, travel has always meant hiking boots and hostels, so when she wins a trip for two to stay at thirteen of the world’s most exclusive five-star hotels, it sounds like the chance of a lifetime, an opportunity to see how the other half lives. But with a travel budget stretched tighter than the straps on their bulging backpacks, Tiana and her man have no room for diamonds and designer clothing (if they actually owned any in the first place).

From the Ritz in Paris to the Dorchester in London and the Peninsula in Hong Kong, Tiana is faced with questions of etiquette she never thought she’d have to answer: is it all right to cook instant noodles beside the Chanel toiletries in the bathroom? How do you deal with tipping when you can’t even afford a bottle of water from the mini-bar? And what on earth are you meant to do with a private butler?

Through fourteen countries, over five months and with countless hilarious and mortifying adventures, Tiana learns that in establishments catering for those with champagne tastes, when you’re on a beer budget life can be harder than it looks. http://www.tianatempleman.com/

Holy Cow!: An Indian Adventure - Sarah Macdonald

After backpacking her way around India Sarah Macdonald decides she hates the country with a passion. When a beggar reads her palm and insists she will one day return - and for love - she screams ‘Never!’. But twelve years later the prophecy comes true.

When the love of her life is posted to India, Sarah follows him to the most polluted city on earth, New Delhi. It seems like the ultimate sacrifice for love and it almost kills her - literally. After being cursed by a naked sadhu smeared in human ashes Sarah almost dies from double pneumonia, but not before facing some serious questions about her fragile mortality and inner spiritual void - not to mention some unsightly hair loss.

It’s enough to send a rapidly balding atheist on a wild rollercoaster ride through India in search of the meaning of life and death. With the help of the Dalai Lama, a goddess of healing hugs and a couple of Bollywood stars - among many, many others - Sarah discovers a hell of a lot more.

Down Under - Bill Bryson

Forget Crocodile Dundee, Castlemaine XXXX and the 2000 Sydney Olympics - Bill Bryson is the man to put Australia on the map. Bill Bryson has traversed the length and breadth of Australia to bring us his first major new book since the bestselling A Walk in the Woods.

Bryson is a household name, synonymous with laugh-out-loud humour, uncontrolled sniggering and spontaneous outbursts of chortling. Down Under will reinforce his reputation as the best-loved travel writer and humorist of our day. No worries!

What greeted Bill Bryson when he visited Australia was rather different to what he’d imagined. It is a country that exists on a vast scale. It is the driest, flattest, hottest, most dessicated, infertile and climatically aggressive of all the inhabited continents, and still it teems with life, a large proportion of it quite deadly!

A country where even the fluffiest of caterpillars can lay one out with a toxic nip, where seashells will not just sting but GO for one! One may be fatally chomped by sharks, or crocodiles, or carried hopelessly out to sea by irresistible currents, or left to stagger to an unhappy death in the baking outback. Bill Bryson ignored such dangers, and promptly fell in love with the country! And who can blame him?

The people are cheerful, the food excellent, the beer always cold, the sun nearly always shines. Life doesn’t get much better than this!

(All titles available at your premium library on the internet)

Posted by marjorie | Filed Under August 08, Reading Space, September 08

The Sound Space - The Favourites

September 1, 2008 | 2 Comments

We are thrilled to feature The Favourites - singer Rebekah Jensen and guitarist Martin Hailey.

Both Martin and Rebekah have worked together regularly in Sydney for many years as performers and songwriters. Originally of Sydney band Raw Sugar, who released two albums through Festival records in the 90s, both Martin and Rebekah have had quite successful careers working with many other artists.

Rebekah is an in demand session singer who has performed extensively with Jimmy Barnes and Jackie Orszaczky as well as working with The Sleepy Jackson, Jade Macrae, Marcia Hines, iOTA , Shauna Jensen and Lotus Position.

Martin has worked as a guitarist and producer in a broad range of musical styles with independent and commercial artists as diverse as Jimmy Little, David Campbell, Abby Dobson, Lo-Tel, Pape Mbaye, Jimmy Somerville, Story, Tammy Ingram, Junglehammer, Matanza, Nina Hagen and Paulini.

We are proud to offer you one of the glorious tracks from Counting The Days - The Favourites’ debut album - to download and listen to (over and over again!):

The Favourites - Counting the Days - Lovers in Peace

If you’d like to hear more of The Favourites, or to buy their CD - The Favourites

For further enquiries or to book The Favourites, contact Dee at www.primalent.com.au

For your chance to win a copy of Counting The Days, be sure to register for our Monthly Prize Draw!

Posted by karen | Filed Under September 08, Sound Space

Monthly Prize Draw - September 2008

September 1, 2008 | Leave a Comment

We all love a chance to win something special!

Here at The Calm Space, we’re dedicated to bringing a sense of calm and tranquillity to your life and one of the ways we hope to do that is by offering you the chance to go into our regular monthly prize draw.

Register once to automatically go into the draw each month to win fantastic prizes chosen to enhance the calm space in your life. All prizes are donated by our wonderful contributors and sponsors.

The earlier you register, the greater chance you have to win!

Our prizes will grow as The Calm Space readership grows – and we’d love to have you along for the journey.

THIS MONTH’S PRIZE

This month, you could win one of these CDs by The Favourites! These fabulous artists, featured in The Sound Space this month, have kindly donated a couple of these CDs for us to share with you!

This prize will be drawn on September 27th 2008 and the winners will be notified by email.

The winners will be announced in the October issue of The Calm Space.

To enter to win this fabulous prize (and be automatically entered in prize drawings each month from now on) please provide your details below. [If you entered previously, there is no need to enter again - you're already on our list!]

You will be sent an email asking you to confirm your entry. Please look out for the email and make sure you click the link to finish confirming your details. We’d hate you to miss out!

As a thank you, we will send you a quick email each month to let you know when each new issue of The Calm Space has been published.

We will never sell, rent, trade or share your email with anyone!

ANNOUNCING OUR WINNERS FOR AUGUST!

We are thrilled to announce the winners of the two gift certificates to E-bar, for Australian Made Certified Organic Body and Skincare products.

Simone Dern

Sandy

Congratulations ladies! I am sure you will enjoy your choice of gifts from E-bar, courtesy of Joanne Costello.

Posted by karen | Filed Under Monthly Prize Draw, September 08

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