What Is Your Stuff Telling You?
August 1, 2008 | 4 Comments
When I’m alone in my home, surrounded by my stuff, my stuff speaks to me. I hear “I’m the photo that reminds you of happy holidays” or “I’m the glass dish in the colour you love” or “I’m the basket which keeps your magazines in order” and I feel content. Occasionally there is a discordant voice. It might say “I’m the saucepan you never use” or “I’m the shoes that make you feel guilty because they cost so much and don’t fit”. That’s when I take action.
After years of listening to my stuff there is very little in my home which I do not use, love or need. Therefore there is no clutter. That doesn’t mean my home is perfectly tidy – there’s a big difference between cluttered and untidy. More on that another time perhaps.
Let’s get back to the listening part. Many of my clients have a hard time deciding what is clutter and what isn’t. They’ll pick up an object, torn between chucking it and keeping it. That’s when I ask, “How does it make you feel?” This question crystallises in the client’s mind precisely whether the object they hold is clutter or not. I see the change in their face as they finally “listen” to what the object is telling them. And the decision is made.
Just Baggage Enough
July 1, 2008 | 1 Comment
Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough.
– Author unknown
Which would you prefer…
…A bookshelf overflowing with cookbooks, more recipes torn from magazines stashed in a drawer. There are so many recipes you don’t know where to start or to find that special one… you’re sure it had a picture of… what was it now? It’s all too hard, we’ll just have the usual. – Or – A select few cookbooks from favourite chefs or using favourite techniques, some tried and true recipes logged in a binder. They are stored right there where you can easily reach them and you feel inspired to plan and cook delicious fresh
meals.
…A child’s room with so many toys they cascade from the cupboard, are stacked up in every corner as well as under the bed. Still there’s more scattered on the floor. You step on toys as you fight your way across the room. The child is bored and can’t imagine what to do next. – Or – A stimulating but small selection of open-ended toys and games. Each has a place and can be found there. Some more are tucked away elsewhere to be rotated on a regular basis. The child loves to play in their room for hours. The child has also learned to value their possessions and occasionally makes charitable donations of their outgrown toys.
You get the idea. Going through life with “just baggage enough” saves money. Purchasing and storing more than enough adds up. Find that hard to believe? Take a look around and count the number of “storage solutions” you currently use. Count cupboards, containers, baskets, shelves. Still need convincing? Remember back to your childhood. I bet you lived in a smaller house then. Extra rooms cost big bucks.
“Just baggage enough” saves effort. There’s less dusting, lifting, packing away and family discussions about tidiness.
“Just baggage enough” saves time. Maintenance of extra “baggage” takes time away from other important tasks.
Freedom from Possessions
June 2, 2008 | Leave a Comment
Freedom is an evocative word. At the sound of it I take a deep breath. I sigh. I am calm and peaceful and free. And I realise freedom is about choice.
I am lucky. I am free to choose where I live, what I eat, what I study and read, how I look, what work I do, what I can write, what I believe in, and with whom I associate. I have led a charmed life, not always perfect, but a life of my choosing. Life is easy for me when I don’t have to struggle for shelter, food, clean water, safety, education, work. I am free.
There are some in this world who are not free. They do not have what I have, and sometimes take for granted. Here’s a thought for those of us who do enjoy freedom…
“That which you cannot give away, you do not possess. It possesses you.” - Ivern Ball
When working with clients on decluttering, I find it helps to keep in mind what really matters in this world.
Freedom, above all else, really matters.
One Grey Elephant Balancing
May 1, 2008 | 9 Comments
I have a children’s song stuck in my head.
One grey elephant balancing, Step by step on a piece of string, He thought is was such a wonderful stunt, That he called for another, Elephant!
And so the song goes on - 2, 3, 4 grey elephants all implausibly balancing on one piece of string, until…
5 grey elephants balancing, Step by step on a piece of string, All of a sudden the piece of string broke, And down came all the elephant folk!
What a perfect analogy for our theme this month. Let’s say the piece of string is you, and the grey elephants are the load, or responsibilities, you carry. What I’m getting at is Work-Life Balance. How many “grey elephants” can you balance before you “break”?
In preparation for this article, I put out a call for help. I asked…
Work-Life Balance -
How do you define it?
Is it attainable?
Do you have it?
How do you make sure you get it?
Here’s what I learned. Some people had never heard the expression. Some felt it was elusive and indefinable. Some enjoyed their work so much they found it hard to separate work from the rest of their life. Dee Le Blang joked that “it is the fine line between insanity and being able to smile each day“. Interestingly, no-one defined being “out of balance” as having too much “life” and not enough “work”, always the reverse. It seems to me “work-life balance” is a subjective term with as many interpretations as there are situations.
I was encouraged to hear the great majority felt work-life balance is attainable. Far fewer, though, believed they currently achieved a satisfactory work-life balance. On further examination, a pattern emerged.
Those who were dissatisfied
- often felt overwhelmed
- felt they had no control
- felt they took on too many responsibilities
- rarely took time off
Those who were satisfied
- worked at achieving that satisfaction
- planned their time off
- spent time winding down
- pursued hobbies and interests outside work
Now it’s over to you. Let’s hear your ideas on Work-Life Balance and how it can be achieved. In other words, how many elephants can you balance? And how do you keep that string strong?
And I’ll keep singing…
One grey elephant balancing…
Honour Your Passion
April 1, 2008 | 4 Comments
Recently I met a man who told me of his latest passion. He collects photos of doorknobs and knockers. How unusual! He spoke with such passion and obvious joy, telling me of his travels around the world and the knobs and knockers he’d seen and photographed, it was infectious. Together we imagined the stories and history behind these everyday items. They did indeed tell a story of culture and class, wealth and poverty, war and peace. By the end of our conversation I was completely drawn in. I will never again look at these simple objects in the same way. I urged him to share his passion with the world by producing a book. I hope he follows through. Any collection accumulated with passion deserves a place of honour.
Sadly, I see many collections which have not been honoured. From photos to power tools, books to bootees, stamps to shoes. My belief is, if it’s worth keeping, it’s worth honouring.
Think about the collections you have at home. Are they being honoured? Who are you collecting for? Yourself? A loved one? Future generations? Society? Are you passionate about your collection? Are you willing to give it the love it deserves?
Sometimes this means paring down a collection until only the best examples remain. This will showcase your collection by allowing enough time and space to display, preserve or use the items as they deserve. Honouring your collection means storing the objects well. Perhaps you could consider handing them on to the next generation or a museum, to be shared, or for safe keeping. Honouring your precious collection means creating a safe environment for it. Dust and damp are the enemies of all collections. A lack of passion is likewise detrimental. If you are no longer passionate about your collection, it may be time to move on and make room for new passions.
Dream Big
March 3, 2008 | Leave a Comment
There’s a little exercise I ask my clients to undertake. I ask them to Dream Big. Try it for yourself. Take a quiet moment and close your eyes.
Now make a picture in your mind of your perfect life ten years from now.
• What does it look like?
• How does it feel?
• Where are you?
• Who are you with?
Dream of your whole life, not just your love life or your career. Dream of your friendships, faith, home, community, finances, family and anything that’s important to you. See it all in detail. When you’re ready open your eyes. Now grab hold of that dream. Hang onto it. Write it down. Maybe even draw it.
And here’s the important part. Make a plan. Because if you can Dream it, you can Do it.
How will you make your dream come true? What are the steps you’ll need to take? Who do need to help you? What’s the first step? When will you take it? And if you are taking new steps to make your big dreams happen, what else will you let go of?
You’ve dreamed big and made your plans, now Do it.
What Makes Your Heart Sing?
February 1, 2008 | 6 Comments
There is a famous quote by William Morris which sums up the advice I give clients about decluttering their homes. He said,
“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.”
The useful part is easy. There are things we all need – clothes on our back, a pot to cook with, plates to eat off. Tax records and first aid supplies are more examples of things we need. We make room in our homes for these everyday useful things.
The difficulty for most people comes in deciding what is beautiful enough to win a place in their home. Beauty, as they say, is in the eye of the beholder. So the decision’s all yours. But here are some suggestions to make that decision a little easier.
What makes your heart sing? If it’s cooking that makes your heart sing, then 35 cookbooks may seem beautiful to you and therefore win a place in your home. But if you don’t enjoy cooking, and the thought of those books makes you feel bad about your abilities, or the money you spent on them, it’s time to cull that collection.
How does it make you feel? If you’re not sure if something deserves its place, hold that object in your hand and ask yourself how you really feel about it. Does it bring you happy memories? Does it make you smile? If the answer’s yes, then it stays. If you feel sad, annoyed, guilty, that’s bad karma and it needs to go.
I can hear you all now. “But I paid a lot of money for it.” “But my aunt Rosie gave it to me.” You may have paid a lot for it, but if it doesn’t make you feel good, that’s bad energy. And feeling guilty for wasting money only compounds the problem. Learn from it, and don’t make the same mistake twice. Next time you have the urge to buy something, ask “Does it make my heart sing?”
Your aunt Rosie, or any true friend, will understand that you appreciate the thought of her gift but you’re not bonded to it for life. If you don’t love an object and you’re only keeping it from a sense of obligation, that’s more bad energy. If you still can’t part with something, even though it’s neither useful nor beautiful to you, put it in a box. Mark it with an “expiry date” 6 months hence and pack it away. After that time, bring out the box, and again ask yourself, “Does it make my heart sing?”
If you listen to your heart the answer will come easily.
A Time for Opportunity
January 1, 2008 | 2 Comments
Ahh! The New Year! Full of possibility and opportunity. I welcome it with open arms and a hopeful heart.
There’s something special about the beginning of a new year, like the smell of a new car. After the rush of December it’s a good time to reflect on the year that’s passed and look forward to the one to come. We start with a brand new calendar, unmarked by prior commitments. We have a wonderful opportunity to assess our goals and priorities. It’s an opportunity to evaluate the way we use our time.
Time? “What does time have to do with goals?” you may ask. “Everything” is my answer.
Time is the one thing that will make the most difference to how successfully we achieve our goals. We can’t earn more of it, or bank time for a rainy day. Each of us receives the same amount of time every day. How we use our precious allocation will determine how effectively we reach our goals for 2008 and beyond.
For example, if my goal is to lose weight, I may choose to allocate time to exercise daily and plan meals. If my goal is to be a good parent, I may choose to play board games with my children twice a week. If my goal is to earn a degree, I may choose to study every Saturday. You get the idea.
I’ll leave you with some key tips to ensure success –
- set goals for each area of your life
- get specific
- then get specific about how you’ll achieve those goals
- realistically allocate time to achieving each of those goals
- regularly review your commitments to ensure your time is spent achieving your goals, not someone else’s
I hope you’ll take the opportunity to review your goals, and use your time making 2008 a wonderful year for you.
Making a List and Checking It Twice
December 2, 2007 | 6 Comments
Take Santa’s lead. Make a list. Check it twice.
If ever there was a season for lists, this is it. Whenever time is tight and there’s lots to do, lists can cut through to the nitty gritty and help you focus on getting things done. Learn from Santa and make the most out of your lists.
Christmas card lists, updated year after year, can grow to epic proportions. Consider each person on the list, and whether it’s still relevant to keep in touch. Perhaps you’ve been promising for years to “catch up”. Well, if you really want to, this year set a date. Does the card-writing fall to you alone? Sit down with a partner before writing cards to divide up the list. Perhaps it would be helpful to delegate the addressing of envelopes. Or keep your list on the computer and print off address labels. Santa has helpers too.
A gift list makes shopping easier. Include everyone you’re buying for, their measurements, likes & dislikes, interests and past gifts. Keep it with you so you’re always prepared. How else would Santa get it so right each year?
Develop a list of “maximum impact, minimum effort” dishes for entertaining and impressing that will leave you time and energy for enjoying the occasion, rather than slaving in the kitchen. Let those dishes become known as your signature and never give away your secrets. After all, Santa never tells how he gets so much done in one night.
And then there’s the classic grocery shopping list. It pays to make your grocery list early on, and buy as much of it as you can before the shopping centres swarm with crowds. Place your order with the local butcher early. Once you have the staples and dry goods in your pantry, you’ll only need to collect your meat order, and visit your local greengrocer for the fresh fruit and vegetables. Parking will be easier and the quality superior. Santa always plans ahead.
There are more things we can learn from Santa too. He’s always laughing, he enjoys his work and he always has a good rest after his busy time.
All the best for the festive season,
Making Time for Friends
November 1, 2007 | Leave a Comment
While sitting with friends over a coffee, I mentioned I had this article to write, and didn’t know what to write about organising and friendship. The answers came back thick and fast, and helped me realise that what I took for granted - catching up with friends - didn’t just happen by chance.
So, with thanks to my friends who always know how to help, here are some of the things I do to make time for my Friendships.
- Firstly I make them a priority. I made a conscious decision long ago to make time in my busy week to connect. There will always be something to do - ironing, articles to write, family commitments - but connecting on a regular basis with friends is just as important to me.
- We make plans to catch up over dinner. Our dinner parties are all about sharing good company. That’s why we each bring one course, sharing the workload and cost, and spending time together instead of in the kitchen.
- We exercise together. You don’t have to choose between spending time with friends and doing other important things on your to do list. Combine them and you both benefit. Walk, swim, run or go to the gym together.
- I have a cordless phone, and we chat while I weed the garden, hang out the washing or unload the dishwasher. I don’t do anything that takes my attention away from my friend’s conversation.
- I remember birthdays. Mark special days in your diary. If you use an electronic diary it’s easy to add recurring annual reminders.
- I’m on time for my friends. I show them how much I value them by respecting their time. No-one likes to sit around alone in a restaurant, so don’t leave your friend hanging.
How do you make time for your friends?
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- Spiritual Tuning In
- What Is Your Stuff Telling You?
- Are You Tuned In To The Power Of Your Own Words?
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