Some Simple Relationship Guides

Written by: Chris Owen
July 1, 2008

Simplicity comes in all shapes and sizes.

In the Relationship Space I often have long stories and passionate pleas to you, dear reader, to search for and savour the real and simple joys to be found in relationships.

For simplicity’s sake I decided that you might like a change from my voice this month, and instead share with you some other voices.

If you look in any bookshop, the Self-Help section gets bigger by the year. Along with the latest fad diets on those bookshop shelves are endless books on relationships, dating, divorce etc.

As I spin my chair around to my own bookshelf, I can see at least 30 text and self-help books focusing on relationships and communications.

Have I read them all? No. Like you, I don’t have that much time. Some I’ve consumed with total pleasure, others are so dry that I use them more for diving into when I need extra information.

So I figured that’s probably what happens to you when you front up to the bookshop. Often what prompts buyers to approach those shelves at the shop is the most recent fight, the most recent hurt or disappointment, or perhaps a sense of disillusionment seeping into your heart.

No relationship disillusionment can be laid entirely at the feet of one person. And as you have no control over what anyone else does, the first changes can only come from you. It helps to think about how you see the situation, how it feels to look at it, and what actions you take in response.

And rather than be a victim, you want to take action.

So this month’s new voices are the voices I find easiest to read, and those I’m quickest to recommend to clients. I’ve chosen these books based on:

· the simple good sense they share with the reader

· PLUS the guides to actions you can take - right now

The Almost Perfect Marriage: One Minute Relationship Skills

This is from one of my favourite Australian authors, Stephanie Dowrick. While all her books have tons of useful stuff, this slim little volume with big text, few words, and great hints is the simplest way to start thinking differently about your self and your relationship.

It’ll take 10-15 secs to read a page at the start of a day and decide to take action.

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

In this book, Gary Chapman helps us identify what is the most crystal clear, laser-directed, message of love to someone.

We all find it hard to understand when someone speaks to us in a foreign language. Chapman argues that if we express our love to someone in a way that is not their natural love language, we run a very high risk of them eventually concluding they are unloved, and vice versa.

Chapman’s style is easy-reading, filled with lots of stories as examples, and it guides you through identifying your own language and that of your partner.

I guarantee THIS simple technique will make a difference to your life.

Relationship Rescue: Don’t Make Excuses! Start Repairing Your Relationship Today

Those of you familiar with American TV and Australian daytime television will know of Dr Phil McGraw. First seen as a regular advisor on Oprah, Dr Phil now has a daily show of his own and plenty of polarised critics and fans.

I’ve included Relationship Rescue because he guides you through a whole lot of reviewing of you and your relationship, with simple quizzes, a bit of myth-busting, and some good assignments. This book was written early in the Texan’s fame-filled career before he got too “out there”. But if you don’t like the Texan-twanged Phil, then don’t go there!

These three books seem to be in most libraries and bookshops. The fact that they’re readily available says that they’ve stood the test of time.

Good hunting and why don’t you let us all know if you disagree with my selections? Or even better, if you’ve found good, simple, relationship enhancing books, then please share your opinions with us in the comments section below this article.

Credit for Holding Hands Photo: Gem Fountain on Flickr

Chris Owen - Sharing the Secrets of Successful Relationships | http://www.thecalmspace.com/about#chris

Comments

2 Responses to “Some Simple Relationship Guides”

  1. HenrykingNo Gravatar on July 2nd, 2008 5:21 pm

    I like the content of the article, where there is some valuable information about the relationships and how one should maintain it and i like this blog as its been an informative one.

  2. angelaNo Gravatar on July 21st, 2008 12:37 am

    Thanks for recommending “The 5 Love Languages”. I initially bought it for my daughter, and started reading it before I passed it on. So glad I did. There are some gems in there.

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