Friday Inspirations… Loving Relationships

June 13, 2008 | 2 Comments

“A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself -

to laugh with me, but never at me;

to cry with me, but never because of me;

to love life, to love himself, to love being loved.

Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.”

~ Leo F Buscaglia

Posted by karen | Filed Under Happening Space, June 08

Spaces of Calm #1

June 10, 2008 | 3 Comments

Welcome to Spaces of Calm. Each month (or possibly more often) we’ll bring you a selection of spaces, places and goodies around the world, online and offline, that we hope will enhance your life. It’s our way of sharing the love, and the peace, just that little bit more…

This month, we’re looking at inspirational wisdom - on the net and delivered daily to your inbox.

Our inboxes can become so full of junk, not to mention our physical letterboxes - stuffed full of bills, requests, spam and, well, junk! There is nothing nicer than something uplifting, something positive, popping up each morning… just in time for us to start our day in an upbeat and positive way. I know my days go all the smoother and calmer if I take time when wrestling with my morning routine to read one of my favourite inspirations…

These three people make a significant difference in my life (and the lives of many, many others), helping me start the day well, and allowing me to remain cool, calm and positive every single day:

Positive Attitude Quotes

Lucy McDonald’s positive quotes have been joyously welcomed into my inbox for a long time now (I hesitate to say ‘years’, but I am sure it has been!). Now at Positive Attitude Quotes, Lucy is publishing these quotes and adding beautiful, appropriate photos every day of the week. Great for when you need a pick-me-up during a hard day.

“For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the Universe” - anon

Concentrated Wisdom for the Busy Self-Actualiser

The classic Greek philosophers had a word for the process of self-actualizing and striving to reach your highest potential. They called it ‘Areté. Brian Johnson’s thinkarete.com is a treasure trove of quotes, big ideas and inspiration… sign up for his daily Big Idea and receive a quick jolt of wisdom, encouragement and va-va-va-voom in your inbox (you’ll love reading it, guaranteed!).

Emerson instructed us to “Make your own Bible. Select and collect all the words and sentences that in all your reading have been to you like the blast of truimph out of Shakespeare, Seneca, Moses, John and Paul.”

Notes from the Universe

Mike Dooley from TUT.com delivers a Note from the Universe directly to your inbox each weekday. They are often provocative, sometimes laugh-out-loud funny, ever inspirational and always, always spot on the mark. I’ve talked to other Adventurers, and we all say the same thing - that was exactly what I needed to hear today!

“We believe that thought, imagination and creative visualization are the most powerful tools at our disposal to manifest dreams, affect change and create new beginnings.”

Posted by karen | Filed Under Happening Space, June 08

It’s all about Freedom

June 2, 2008 | 2 Comments

It’s June already! And for us in the southern hemisphere, that means winter is upon us. Here in Brisbane it has been feeling like winter for a month now. For our friends in the north, I’m sure you’re gleefully welcoming the warmth of the summer sun.

For June, we’re talking about Freedom. And whilst it might be nice to think of escaping winters worst by fleeing north, that doesn’t seem to be the freedom we’re talking about in our Spaces this month.

Firstly, I’d like you to give a very warm welcome to our new contributor, Grant Wallace. Grant is an accountant, financial adviser and terrific business coach. He will be sharing his wisdom with us at The Money Space each month and you’ll find more about him on our About page. Please make him feel welcome.

For those of you curious about the connection, and in the interests of full disclosure… Grant is my husband and I am so proud and thrilled to have him agree to share his knowledge with you at The Calm Space. (We’ve been talking about this for a long time now: )

Once again, we welcome the beautiful photography of Amy Palko in The Breathing Space - we think you’ll be seeing a lot more of Amy! (And don’t forget to download your copy of this month’s desktop wallpaper - beautiful as always, thanks Leah!)

We welcome back our regular contributors - who all have something unique, insightful and thought-provoking to share with us on the theme of Freedom. Please take the time throughout the month to pay a visit to each Space… the articles will be up all month and waiting for you whenever you have a free moment or two.

When you do visit, we’d love you to leave a quick comment and let us know what you’re thinking… the contributors will all be more than happy to engage in conversation with you!

Wishing you freedom unbounded in June and always…

Namaste

Káren x

Posted by karen | Filed Under June 08, The Space

Freedom - it’s your choice

June 2, 2008 | 1 Comment

Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm

~unknown

Freedom. It conjures up so many thoughts and images, doesn’t it?

This month, as I was mulling over what to write about here in Serenity Space about our theme of the month - Freedom - I realised I was starting to letting my inner perfectionist take over. Do you have one of them? You know, the “it won’t be good enough” and the “it needs to be perfect” and the “why do you think you can write on this?” voices in your head?

And then I realised what I was doing. I call it catastrophising… thinking about what would happen if the words didn’t come. And how terrible that would be. (I won’t go into details, because really, they were pathetic. Suffice to say they didn’t make me feel good at all… as those holes we sink ourselves in are never positive.)

Once I’d yelled at myself (quietly) it came to me.

Possibly the most precious, and certainly the most personal of all freedoms is the freedom to think our own thoughts.

We have the power to choose what thoughts we allow in our heads.

And this freedom, more than any other, is the foundation of a happy, successful, fulfilling life. Every single day.

What we think - about what has happened, what is happening right now, and what may or may not happen in the future - is our choice.

And what we think, as we’re learning more and more, directly affects not only our behaviour, but all that happens in our life.

Stop for a minute and just think about how powerful exercising this simple, very personal, freedom can be…

(I’ll pop the thinking music on for you)

You’re back?

So, did you find the power resonate with you? Or are you like so many of us, that as soon as you had ‘thinking time’ your mind took off with thoughts unbidden? Did you start to think about all those times when those horrible, sad, worrying, anxious thoughts crowd your mind and make you feel terrible? Did you think “I cannot control my thoughts… they come unbidden… my thoughts are me, so how can I control what I think?”

I am the first to admit it can be difficult. Especially at three in the morning when you awake to a terrible feeling of imminent doom.

But you can do it. You are not your thoughts.

You can grasp this freedom with both hands and take control of your mind.

Three simple ways to gain freedom over your thoughts

Make up your own mind. Don’t let anyone tell you what to think. Listen to them, then make up your own mind. That includes making up your own mind about what you’re reading here

Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting

~Alan Dean Foster “To The Vanishing Point”

Notice when your thoughts are out of control. It’s about stepping outside yourself for long enough to see what your thoughts are doing. I believe it’s a learned skill - I can stop myself much more quickly now than ever before. Noticing may be enough to stop those nasty, terrible thoughts in their tracks - or you may need a simple strategy to distract yourself. I like to do a crossword puzzle or read a book to quieten my mind. Find something that works for you.

When unattended, our thinking runs our lives without our even knowing it. Attended with mindful awareness, we have a chance not only to know ourselves better, and see what is on our minds, but also to hold our thoughts differently, with greater wisdom, so they no longer rule our lives.

~Jon Kabat-Zinn “Arriving at your own Door”

Stay in the present moment. Don’t get lost somewhere in another place, time or dimension. More than likely, if you’re even a little like the rest of us, your mind gets out of control when you let it brood about the past or fret about the future. If you stay in the right here, right now - all those regrets and maybe’s don’t have a chance to invade.

Would you share with us your ways of taking control of your thoughts? Let’s get the conversation happening…

Posted by karen | Filed Under June 08, Serenity Space

Planning for Financial Freedom

June 2, 2008 | 3 Comments

Welcome to The Money Space.

This month’s theme is Freedom which, with little doubt, would be dear to most people’s heart. I think it would be interesting to survey a number of people to ask the question, “what do you regard as freedom?” or perhaps, “what would it look like when you have the freedom you deserve?”

I would be surprised if a significant number of respondents did not link their concept of freedom to financial matters.

Our financial arrangements now and in the future have, in my humble view, had a profound impact upon the style of freedom we seek or dream about. It will be different for everyone, perhaps the general thread will be the same but the look of it will be different for each of us.

So to keep things simple perhaps I can help by focusing on some financial threads that may provide us with the tools to achieve that freedom, no matter how yours looks.

Because “Rome wasn’t built in a day”, let’s focus on the threads over the next few months so you will have time to absorb and contemplate how some of these threads and concepts can work for you.

This month I would like to start with the bigger picture so we have a clearer view of what things might look like once we get closer to our concept of financial freedom.

Things to keep in mind:

Be in control of your finances
Ensure your arrangements are correctly structured
Keep things simple so you can understand them
Seek a competitive advantage that you can design to move you quickly toward your financial goals

Control and structuring are very important. The old saying “nothing stays the same”, is very correct especially in financial circles. So be prepared - what you put in place today will need reviewing periodically to ensure that the changes in your circumstances are benefited most by the changes in financial and compliance requirements.

I can attest to the significant changes that have and continue to take place in the world of taxation, superannuation and compliance generally. However, knowing your goals and direction are crucial to ensuring you keep things simple and find the advice you need.

There is nothing better than action and decision making when it comes to goals and your finances. Over the next few months I will endeavour to weave into the monthly theme of The Calm Space, the following concepts as well as the broad ones I mentioned earlier:

Wealth enjoyment
Wealth accumulation
Wealth protection
Wealth growth & management
Wealth transfer

So what is the action step for this month?

Prepare a table of your current financial position. Perhaps the best way to do this is a statement of assets and liabilities, which will reveal your net position. Once prepared, I will ask you to continue to use this document as your yard stick to monitor your progress toward your version of financial freedom. Perhaps placing the document on your computer as a spreadsheet may be a good method. If you are not sure of how to set up the spreadsheet ask your current adviser, or ask a university student for help.

I think T. Harv Eker put it particularly well when he said “My definition of financial freedom is simple: it is the ability to live the life you desire without having to work or reply on anyone else for money” in his book Secrets of the Millionaire Mind.

I hope you will take up the challenge to improve your path to financial freedom, it’s a very worthwhile pursuit.

Until next month!

Posted by grant | Filed Under June 08, Money Space

Are You Shackled in Your Relationship?

June 2, 2008 | 1 Comment

In men’s minds, Buck’s Nights are the last night of freedom for a bloke, before he is shackled to the missus. Equally, feminist theory would suggest that marriage enslaves women to a patriarchal servitude.

So are shackles and enslavement really part of a relationship? Or is this language that we use to hide our real commitment to a lifestyle that is commonly one of alliances and partnerships?

Is any of that REALLY how you see your partnership with the love of your life? Is that how it is in the real world?

How do you remain an individual and become a partner? How do you keep those two different elements in balance in your daily existence, and to your satisfaction?

You’ve only read a few words, and already you’ve been bombarded with six questions. Strap on your seatbelts, readers. If questions can be like the IEDs set by Iraqi insurgents, then reading this article is going to feel a little like the challenge of driving a convoy along an Iraqi highway!

What does Freedom mean in a relationship?

How do you KNOW you have freedom in your current relationship? Do you HAVE any freedom?

Are you satisfied with the level of freedom you currently have in this relationship?

How do you offer freedom to your partner?

What are the necessary elements to nurture and create freedom in a relationship?

If it weren’t for preparing this article I would never have even thought about freedom in my relationship. I don’t experience my partnership with SweetP as limiting me in any way. In fact, quite conversely, I look back on my 34 years with SweetP and am confident my life would have been more limited without him and our relationship.

At Casa Pink Apple, I know have the freedom of my own opinions and the freedom to share and debate them with SweetP. I respect his right to his opinions as he does mine, even when we vehemently disagree!

I am convinced that we can’t solve a problem together unless I have heard (and listened to) his thoughts and feelings about it, and vice versa. It’s part of the information seeking process that starts a problem-solving exercise – even if it’s about what we’ll cook for dinner.

How do I know I have freedom? I think it’s because I feel safe. I am totally confident that no matter how arrogant, frustrating, or dogmatic I may be, or how strong, confident, and insightful I may be, I am loved with all my faults.

It took 20 years to believe that the unconditional love I could see (and kept endlessly testing) was not a mirage. My life’s experiences told me not to trust anybody. So learning something different, and believing it was OK to trust that wonderful safe feeling were hard-fought successes for me and for an extraordinarily patient man!

How does Freedom work in a relationship?

Does keeping your own family name, or adopting a joint name give you that freedom?

Is freedom about financial freedom? Does freedom mean protecting the assets you bring to the partnership, as well as the assets you create jointly in the partnership? Is it about having individual bank accounts?

Does it mean you can decide to remain child-free?

Is it about who does what chores on the weekend?

Does freedom mean sexual freedom and an “open relationship” where other sexual partners are accepted by both of you? Or does it just mean you can play out some of your sexual fantasies together in the privacy of your own space?

For us freedom simply means knowing, acknowledging, understanding and owning our strengths and weaknesses and allowing each of us to “play to our strengths” and balance out our limitations between us.

On a functional level, that means things like SweetP paying the bills and managing our finances, because he’s a mathematician and I’m FAR from interested in any numbers except how much we can afford for me to spend!

However, that also means my organisational soul got to devise the reminder system so that bills got paid on time, which is something the not-so-practical scientist isn’t as good at focusing on.

Go On! Let’s Hear About Freedom From You

Come on, let’s get some opinions and comments from you.

What are the necessary elements to nurture and create freedom in a relationship?

How do you make that work in your life?

Posted by chris | Filed Under June 08, Relationship Space

Cut the Technology Umbilical Cord

June 2, 2008 | Leave a Comment

Over the last few years the case in favour of laptop computers has been growing. They are now reasonably priced, use less power than a traditional dektop, give you access to the same data wherever you are, and now with more reliable high-speed wireless broadband services you can access the network without being tethered to the dreaded blue ethernet cable.

As winter starts here in the southern hemisphere and summer breaks through in the northern hemisphere our desire to be at our desks is waning in favour of being tucked up under a warm blanket or out enjoying the warm days.

So instead of following my challenge from last month’s article and “walking away from your computer”, why not unplug the cable, walk away from your desk and go wireless this month.

Some Things To Consider When Going Wireless

Security
The first thing to consider when using your computer away from the desk is security. You need to consider the physical security of your computer as well as securing the information that is travelling via the airwaves.

Always be aware of where you laptop or laptop bag is
Use a startup password
Don’t access secure information (like banking details or sensitive personal / business information) via wireless connections that you don’t know
Use WEP, WPA or WPA2 authentication to protect the data transmission (if you’re unsure of this you local IT support should be able to help you with this)

Wireless Broadband

If you want to have access to your own wireless broadband connection then there are many telecom carriers offering a range of plans and options. There are 3 main types of wireless options - a USB modem connection, a Laptop modem card or a Desktop modem.

Here are a couple of questions to ask yourself :

What is your main reason for choosing wireless broadband?
A USB Modem connection or a Laptop Modem card is a great option if you require true mobile access, whereas a desktop modem is a suitable for a person that is frequently changing physical locations but only wants to conenct where there is power.

Do you need wireless access to work in transport?
If you wish to use your wireless access on the train, bus, car (not if you are the driver ) or ferry, it is important to choose a wireless service and modem that will provide a fluid connection when you are on the move. There are some wireless services that are more suitable to providing you with a mobile connection and some only work well as a static connection.

Where do you need to use your wireless connection?
Determine the locations that you will be using the wireless connection and make sure that these are included in the coverage areas of your wireless provider. Don’t assume that because you are in a major city that wireless broadband is available. At this stage wireless broadband access is still limited in many rural or unpopulated locations.

What speed do you require?
Like regular broadband, wireless broadband is available in a variety of speeds, but don’t expect that just because it is called “wireless broadband” it has the same speeds as your cabled broadband. If you are downloading large files, you may need to consider a faster speed, however if you are using your connection just to check your email a slower speed may be adequate. Download speeds (bringing data from the network to you) will always be faster than upload speeds (sending data from your computer to the network). Either way determine what you own personal level of patience is and choose a speed that fits your expectations.

How much data do you expect to use?
Most wireless broadband plans are a combination of the speed of the conenction and the download limit.
Wireless broadband services don’t generally allow the same size download limit as many of the fixed broadband solutions. This may mean that you use your monthly download limit more quickly and potentially get hit for extra usage. This means that you need to minimise the amount of large downloads that you do while you are wireless. Many people are using the option to turn off images while accessing the web via wireless (which also means your website needs to look good and work without the images).

Power

Being without wires doesn’t just effect your connection to the telecommunications network but also the power network as well. If you are out and about for short periods then this should not be much of a concern but if you plan to be away from the desk for longer periods you might have to come up with some contingencies. Here are some ways to keep the power going :

Purchase a laptop with a long power life
Have a second laptop battery that you can swap out when the first one is used up
Schedule breaks in places where you can access a power point - cafes, hotel lobbies and airport terminals often have access to power and are sometimes happy to let you access the points as long as you are a customer

Words of Warning

Don’t expect it to be as realiable as your fixed internet connection
Do expect that it will drop out or grind to a halt occassionally
Don’t expect to use it for gaming or VOIP (eg Skype) voice calls
Do make sure that your computer and connection is as secure as possible

So this month I challenge you to get away from the desk BUT this time with technology in hand. While you’re out there drop me a comment below and let me know your best, or worst, wireless technology story.

Posted by leah | Filed Under Digital Space, June 08

Spiritual Freedom

June 2, 2008 | Leave a Comment

What did Jesus Christ, Gandhi and Martin Luther King have in common? To my way of thinking, they all had complete spiritual freedom. Not that they were, or are, the only ones, but they are the ones that immediately spring to my mind.

Irrespective of the culture or religion into which they were born, these secular souls lived the Way, and spoke without fear of consequences. The fact that all of them were killed is immaterial. The fear of death simply did not feature in their thinking. It did not interfere with their spiritual freedom to do and say what they felt had to be done and said.

Martin Luther King wrote

My scepticism concerning the power of love gradually diminished… Prior to reading Gandhi, I had about concluded that the ethics of Jesus were only effective in individual relationships… but after reading Gandhi, I saw how mistaken I was

(Taken from Peace Interactive). What Dr King realised was that there is no limit to God’s love and that violence is not the Way.

Nelson Mandela, who was convicted of treason as one of the leaders the African National Congress, spent 27 years in jail mostly on Robben Island. I would argue that he did not lose his freedom but only his liberty. Freedom is a state of mind and Mandela has also credited Mahatma Gandhi for being a major source of inspiration in his life, both for the philosophy of non-violence and for facing adversity with dignity.

If you asked many people, they would say that freedom comes with a total lack of responsibility, but there is one belief I share with these greats - that freedom comes only with responsibility. There is a greater freedom to be found here. Responsibility for themselves and for the greater good of others is what these wonderful folk took on, and with that came freedom from fear. Halelujah!

Love, peace and wisdom

Posted by annie | Filed Under June 08, Spiritual Space

5 Ways To Let Your Words Run Free

June 2, 2008 | 3 Comments

Funny, isn’t it, how there are times when our words run free. When they skip and soar like children cartwheeling on the sand: light, spirited, carefree.

But then theres’s those other times when writing’s like wading through treacle. When our words feel like they’re stuck in the mud – or set in concrete.

If you ever find yourself stuck in one of those times here are 5 things you can do to set your words free:

Write for one person: No matter if your readership’s going to be one, one thousand or one million, reducing your focus to just one reader can help free up your words. All those other people carry the weight of expectations with them: the baggage of “should”, “have to”, “must”. With just one person you can reduce your focus, and tell it the way that it is.

Get intimate: No I’m not talking racy details here, I mean getting intimate with your reader, and your words. Focus on that one person you’re writing for. Smile as you think of them. Pull your chair up a little closer. Shut out the world. Write for them, and them only, that story you’re itching to tell.

Write here, write now: Sometimes when the words get stuck it’s because we’ve stared too long at the big picture, thought too hard about abstract concepts of purpose or value. Forgotten what’s going on right here, right now, and how full of purpose and value those everyday details can be. So start there. Drop what you’re ‘trying’ to say. Focus back on the specifics, the detail of what’s here, now, and that one person you want to share it with.

Forget the big picture: Human beings love to look for patterns, meaning, the big picture of what we’re writing on, working on, living through. But patterns can easily become labels, and once we’ve labelled our work or our selves it’s easy to get stuck. We try too hard to live up to the labels, to create and re-create them, to maintain our authority and expertise. If your writing’s got pinned down with labels, let them go for a while. Reduce your focus, bring it back to the here and now, and tell it as it is.

Name it: write (privately) what you’re resisting. This idea comes from Natalie Goldberg: it’s as simple as naming what it is you don’t want to write about. Writing about your tiredeness, your boredom, your resistance to those dull old words, that same old same old, until guess what? Something new has broken free.

What are you favourite techniques for liberating words?

What’s helped you to break free when your writing’s got stuck?

Photo Credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/apranihita/

Posted by joanna | Filed Under June 08, Writing Space

Your Breathing Space for June

June 2, 2008 | 2 Comments

“Self-reliance is the only road to true freedom,
and being one’s own person is its ultimate reward.”

-Patricia Sampson

Image by Amy Palko

Download this image as desktop calendar wallpaper for your PC
(right click on the preferred size below)
Resolution - 1680×1050 / 1430×960 / 1024×768

Posted by leah | Filed Under Breathing Space, June 08