Help! My Passion Tank’s Run Out of Juice

Written by: Chris Owen

April 1, 2008

when my passion tank is full to the brim!

That got your attention didn’t it?

I thought it might catch your eye, especially under the Relationship Space heading.
So you’re wondering what I mean by a passion tank?

Is your mind wondering if we’re talking about some faintly kinky bedroom practices? Are we thinking about the batteries in the hand-held electric equipment running out?

Absolutely not!

A passion tank is all about the simple things in life.

You know the tank’s getting low when you’re running out of enthusiasm, out of energy, out of joy for things you normally love and which excite your life ie your passions.

How often do you run out of energy and motivation for:

Dealing with the kids?
Bracing your self for one more rejection from a customer?
Opening the cupboard to find something that is bound to be somewhere OTHER than where it’s meant to be?
Reading that self-help book that you know will be good for you?
Scrubbing that sink till it sparkles?
Seeing the in-laws?
Clearing the clutter on the desk so you can pay those bills or send that letter?
Inviting friends over for a meal and all the mess and dishes that go with it?
Making love to the man of your dreams when sleeping seems much more attractive than his cute bum right now?

I needed only take one look at The Calm Space theme of Passion for the month to know that I simply could NOT write about passion with any authenticity right now. Why?

I’m out of Juice!

Because, you see, I’ve run out of juice.

For those of you who are regular readers of mine on Take A Bite or Apple Tart, you’ll have noticed I’ve been oddly quiet! For me, that’s VERY odd.

I can’t seem to summon the energy for anything much, especially if it requires me to be the initiator. So my drawers are cluttered and overflowing, my pantry is a pigsty, my blog is neglected, and my business is suffering from marketing-deprivation.

And as for poor SweetP, he wonders if he’ll ever see his old sparkly Pink Apple back! And he’s also wondering how come every time he breathes he seems to be in trouble!

So, if you’re familiar with this state of affairs and are currently a juiceless fellow traveller, then let’s explore this together.

Of course you may not be in this place at all. Your Passion Tank might be just fine –RIGHT NOW. But I guarantee you, this advice will be worth remembering, because we all have slumps like this at some time. It’s just a matter of individual degree.

Some Tips for Juiceless Passion Tanks

Return the focus to you

Back in the February Relationship Space, we started exploring the relationship with “your self” and how we nurture self?

… How often do you trust your intuition to lead you to a decision that’s “right for NOW”?
… How are you treating you? Kindly or Harshly? Judgmentally or Compassionately?
… What ONE SIMPLE thing could you do right NOW, as you sit reading this, to improve that most important of your life’s relationships – the one with yourself?

Energy Drainers

Another thing we can do to rejuvenate our juices is to identify our drainers!

The things that drain our energy are the things that we’re tolerating, knowing in some unconscious part of our self that continuing with “putting up with it” is conflicting with our values.

So look around your house, relationships, workplace, and life choices and make a list of things you’re putting up with.

Sharing some examples in the Comments below would certainly help others identify their Drainers, so go ahead and drop us a line or two.

Tell Someone Who Cares

No I don’t mean “here’s 40 cents - call someone who cares” – definitely not! (Don’t you just want to smack people when they say that line?)
I mean tell someone about your slump in passion juice.

Sharing it with someone who’s supportive and would be prepared to share the load a little will certainly make a difference. It will help you realise you’re not weird, just going through one of life’s normal highs and lows. It also might get you someone who’s prepared to give you a mental or physical “leg-up” and you’ll find yourself back on that horse very soon!

(In fact, my wise niece has just given me a pep talk on this very subject.)

So has the “physician” been heeding her own advice? You bet she has! And I’ve already taken my first steps, and have a few more planned.

What about you? What tip might help re-juice your passion tank?

What quiet first step are you going to take to top up the passion in your tank?

Chris Owen - Sharing the Secrets of Successful Relationships | http://www.thecalmspace.com/about#chris

Comments

7 Responses to “Help! My Passion Tank’s Run Out of Juice”

leah on April 1st, 2008 11:20 am

What wonderful advice Chris. I wish this had been around when my passion tank had been runing on empty. It’s definitely not on full at the moment and there are certainly things here that will get me a top up. Thank you!

And as for your own low levels … we will just hold the space of lightness and zing for you to step back into when you are good and ready.
angela on April 1st, 2008 11:58 am

I remember a time when I was low on juice, and I have you, Chris, to thank for turning that around. I can absolutely guarantee the advice about identifying energy drainers works, because it did for me. It was a great success, but for me it’s ongoing. There are always such things which creep into your life, and recognising the energy drainers is the first step to overcoming them, and filling the tank again. So a big thank you for sharing this advice, Chris. You help many people.

This article is wonderfully written as well as great advice. I detect some of the sparkle you say is missing at the moment. I hope you’ll soon be feeling “in the Pink” again.
annie on April 2nd, 2008 9:15 am

Chris, how brave of you to share how you’re feeling right now - it’s impossible to be the perfect ‘model’ all the time! But with life’s swings and roundabouts, thankfully we know that it always turns around.
I am reminded of the wonderful story about the ring given to Solomon by his minister Benaiah ben Yehoyada with the inscription “This too shall pass”
I often wonder whether it has something to do with biorhythms since sometimes I run low for no apparent reason????
karen on April 2nd, 2008 6:33 pm

Chris, thank you for sharing such a personal tale. We all very much appreciate you opening your heart and sharing with us.

We all have low days, and it is nice to know that others have them too, because when we’re in the bottom of a hole it can seem like we’re the only one there. It takes someone very courageous (like you) to throw the light switch on!

Your tips for juiceless passion tanks are priceless. Thank you.
Joanna Young on April 2nd, 2008 7:52 pm

Hi Chris, yes your headline certainly caught my attention! But it was the substance of your piece that holds it.

I too have been there (in the past, thankfully) running on empty, battery drained, and it’s not a good place to be. I used to think of my tank like a car battery that when working well would recharge from work, busy-ness, life (like going for a spin in the car) but once drained wouldn’t recharge from normal use - and if you tried to keep going you’d likely do your engine some serious damage.

So there are different strategies for self-care to avoid over-draining the battery in the first place - and recovery when you find that you have.

If you haven’t already found it I thoroughly recommend ‘The Joy Of Burnout’ which helped me enormously when I was learning to recover from burnout.

http://www.joyofburnout.com/

Joanna
Marjorie on April 2nd, 2008 9:22 pm

I have found Chris that you bounce higher after everytime that you hit the lows…:)
chris on April 3rd, 2008 4:12 pm

Well What response!
Thanks to all of you commenters. It seems I’ve hit a nerve that we’ve all felt vibrating at some stage.
As someone who is often described by others as “passionate” (except my mother who sees it as graceless and pushy) it feels so weird to be so low on juice.
@ Joanna
Your analogy of the car is one I often use but I’ve never thought about how normal usage of a car doesn’t recharge the battery sufficiently. Of course, it needs something extra!
But that’s exactly why you need to take the extra step and follow the tips for Juiceless Passion Tanks!
@ Angela
Thankyou for the reminder of how I’ve helped you refind energy and refuel a tank. And it’s interesting to hear that you still see some sparkle where I can only see dull. Much food for thought there for me.
@ Annie
I hadn’t thought about the fact that I was modelling the imperfections but you’re right. And one of the things that I love in working with a group is when someone takes the courage to be vulnerable and it opens the doors for others.
@ Leah
It’s a nice turnaround to find that some of my advice is proving useful for you after all your useful advice for me! And I appreciate how lightly you’ve been holding the space for me and i get the warm hugs that have come down the wires!
@ Marj
The possibility of bouncing higher is sounding like a promising reward for refuelling the tank! Thanks
@Karen
You and others have talked about my article being brave or courageous. When all else fails I can only rely on intuition and instinct to get me through. It’s a little daunting to think that pounding out an instinctive article could be courageous. That just gives me more food for thought. Thank you