Sharing our Dreams - Nothing to be Scared of and Everything to Embrace

Written by: Chris Owen
March 3, 2008

sharing our dreams with our spouse, deepening the relationship…How would our worlds survive without our Dreams?

When we fail to dream we cut ourselves off from creative thinking and limit our ability to search for possibilities and opportunities. Whether we dream in our sleep or daydream, our unconscious is channelling us to follow our spirit and our passion to grow as wonderful human beings and share our knowledge with the world around us.

What hopes and expectations do you have fermenting in your dreams?

What faint possibilities could become real with the right kind of nurture?

Who do you share those precious fragile dreams with?

No matter whether our relationships are with a partner, a sibling, a child, or a friend, we also have hopes and dreams and expectations and a sense of possibility about each one of those connections.

Hopes and dreams are delicate and need to grow hardier and more real with careful attention, and not a whipping session from your Inner Critic or anyone else! So, in the early stages of development, they need to be shared carefully.

But they also need to be said out loud or written down. For them to come to life they need to be aired and fed. Taking them out of the ethereal world of our dreams into the reality of spoken or written words nurtures them with the Food of Life.

So when did you last nurture your dreams with the food of life? And how were they treated?

If you’ve shared dreams with another person, did they respect them, and appreciate how much more they got to know you because of what you’d shared?

When was the last time you asked the other person in the relationship what were their individual dreams or their dreams for the two of you?

How did you treat that person’s precious dreams? Did you recognise how fragile this shared gift was? Did you nurture its fragility? Could you see how honored you were to be given a peek into their spirit and passion?

Did the sharing open up channels of intimacy between you? The strengthening of the bonds of safety and the deepening of love that can flow from these moments is like a drug that once experienced keeps calling you to return! In our partner relationships, these sharings can open up a tenderness and connection not unlike the most exquisite lovemaking.

If you haven’t ever ‘gone there’, then maybe you need to wonder why.

  • Is it because it’s never occurred to you to share others and your own dreams?
  • Or is it your sense of self is so low that you believe that your thoughts and dreams will have no value, and don’t deserve the sunlight and nurture?
  • Or do high levels of unpredictability mean low levels of safety in this relationship?
  • Or is it something else?

If there is a reason, what are you going to do about it? Because of course you’ll always remain ‘stuck there’ until YOU decide to make a change.

To help you get unstuck, consider the people who are important in your life, and choose one person to share one simple little dream. You see, it’s good to make a start (take a baby step), and practise with something small with someone safe. Their responses can start to instil some confidence in you and some Life into your dreams!

Let’s hear about your experiences. What have you learned about letting your dreams out to play?

Chris Owen - Sharing the Secrets of Successful Relationships | http://www.thecalmspace.com/about#chris

Comments

2 Responses to “Sharing our Dreams - Nothing to be Scared of and Everything to Embrace”

  1. angelaNo Gravatar on March 4th, 2008 7:28 am

    When my husband and I “let our dreams out to play” (fabulous turn of phrase), a couple of things happen. One is that we become closer, having shared that intimate moment. Another is that suddenly the dreams become more. They become plans - something concrete and real.

  2. karenNo Gravatar on March 5th, 2008 9:29 am

    Chris, thanks for the reminder about how important it is to share our dreams. Sometimes we get so busy and involved with our own stuff we forget to do that.

    I also think it is important to have shared dreams - those you look forward to together, the ones that grow you not only as a individual but as a couple…

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