With a song in our heart… we’re talking about love
February 1, 2008 | 6 Comments
Welcome to the February edition of Calm Space.
Here in Australia, it’s high summer and it’s the start of a new school year.
And in the middle of the heat, we celebrate Valentines Day. So, to cool things off a little, grab a long tall glass of something cool with ice, and sip while you browse around our spaces this month. We’ve turned on the airconditioning and are waiting for your visit. Every time you pop in, we do a little happy dance.
Alright, if that’s too twee for you, you’ll love the line-up we have for you this month. We haven’t gone overboard with red roses, or lingerie, or chocolates… although we were tempted by a nice glass of bubbly. What we have done is each of us put our own spin and our own heart into what we have written for you on the theme of Heartstrings. You’ll find spirit and love in each of the spaces this month, along with hefty doses of calm and inspiration. After all, that’s what we’re here for.
Please don’t forget to join in the conversation - your comments are encouraged and will always be responded to!
Also, remember to register for this month’s prize (if you haven’t already) - it is particularly wonderful if you’re bogged down with stuff and need a hand getting organised or clearing clutter as you prepare for the year ahead!
Wishing you a February full of love, may your heartstrings sing a song of joy all month long.
Káren
Heartstrings…
As I write this, I am sitting on the back verandah of the house we are renting at the beach. I am sitting with the man who stole won my heart 22 years ago this week, and our youngest son.
It is late afternoon and we’ve been chatting and watching the rain approach across the sea. It’s high tide, there is a stiff breeze that is making my notebook flap and my hair fly in my face, and the sea is the colour of milky coffee - churned up by the recent near-cyclonic low that battered Queensland and Northern NSW through the holiday season.
As I sit here, notebook and gorgeous fountain pen (that my husband gave me for my birthday last week) in my hand, I am thinking about love; about family; about ties that bind us and what it means to be able to sit here - together but each comfortably doing their own thing.
I’ve been looking forward at the next month. At the return to school rush next week. At the start of a year full of promise.
And here at The Calm Space, we’re looking at the month through the theme of Heartstrings. When we selected this theme, we were thinking (as I am sure you’ll have guessed) about Valentines Day, but even more we were thinking about Love.
February isn’t purely about Valentines Day (even if Hallmark and chocolate shops would have us think that).
And Valentines Day isn’t about who gets flowers delivered to them at the office and who doesn’t.
It seems to me that Valentines Day has become a competition to see who gets treated the best. And it has created an expectation that ‘if he truly loves me’ he will go all out and make the day the most romantic day of my life.
Long ago, when I worked in an office full of women, I forbade my husband from sending or buying me anything on Valentines Day. (The order still stands ; )
His love for me is not, ever, measured by whether he sends me a dozen red roses or not.
Love is not a one-day of the year event. It needs to be expressed all year round. A happy relationship thrives when every day is a day for love.
As I sit here, surrounded by family, I am so clearly reminded that heart and love is an always thing.
Growing up, I was very impressed by the parents of my best friend. They may not have been wealthy in the monetary sense (none of us were), but they were certainly rich in love. Every month, on the same date, they celebrated their anniversary of the day they met. They gave each other a token gift, a block of favourite chocolate, a hand-written love letter, or cooked a special meal. Just a little something personal and special to celebrate ‘their day’.
It struck me that this was a couple who not only loved each other, they had made a special monthly ritual of reminding each other how much they cared.
How much nicer was this ever-so-personal and intimate celebration than today’s over-commercialised Valentines Day?
I am all for celebrating those we love - the romantic love, family love and the deep bonds of friendship - as often as possible.
Let’s not wait for a special day to show someone we care. Who knows what tomorrow may bring?
Send those flowers. Write that letter. Give that hug. Post that card. Pick up that phone.
Today.
Tomorrow.
Often.
I appreciate you, dear reader. Thank you for taking the time to visit. Come visit again soon.
From my heart to yours - with love.
Káren
You gotta love technology
February 1, 2008 | 10 Comments
Maybe not everyone loves technology but I DO!
Let me step up on my soapbox and talk to you about something that is dear to my heart - the love or hate relationship that people have with technology.
You see I believe that our relationship with technology is all about our attitude to technology. With attitudes such as “I can’t make it work” or “I don’t get it” or “It is just a waste of time” it is no suprise to me that some people can easily have a hate-based relationship with technology. Why would it be any other way?
Isn’t it interesting that the people that say they love technology also seem to understand it, are open to the new developments and accepting of the changes that technology brings? The people that love technology are curious and not afraid to play with it.
And when I speak of technology I’m not restricting it to just the regular computer technology. I believe that if you can accept some forms of technology then you have the capacity to learn to love others. My mother comes to mind …. she was a wizz at programming her brand new oven so that it started and stopped even when she wasn’t at home, but when it came to using the stereo she swore black and blue that she couldn’t change it from CD to radio and back again (so she used whatever thing the stereo was switched to). She loved the oven technology but hated the stereo technology.
I believe that if you are able to learn and use (even love) one type of technology then you have the capacity to expand that love - share it around!
So what technology do you love?
For me technology love comes in many shapes and forms - the bureau of meterology website (www.bom.gov.au) and their radar pages, good sound systems, Wordpress, Illustrator, iTunes and iPods, websites that let me having a football tipping competition with my husband (www.footytips.com.au), Skype, Dreamweaver, istockphotos, the Canon EOS 40D, the ABC and all their technology (www.abc.net.au) and the list continues …….
Lots of people love their technology. In recent times Char at Essential Keystrokes has asked some of her favourite online contacts to share their “essential tools” (sound more like love than essentials to me some times. Pop over and have a look at some of the technology love going on there.)
As I step off the soapbox of technology love-hate I’d love you to share your technology loves (and hates) below. I’m genuinely interested.
Your Breathing Space for February - Love isn’t love…
February 1, 2008 | Leave a Comment
A bell is no bell ’til you ring it,
A song is no song ’til you sing it,
And love in your heart
Wasn’t put there to stay -
Love isn’t love
‘Til you give it away.
~Oscar & Hammerstein, Sound of Music,
“You Are Sixteen (Reprise)”
[click here for full size image]
Spiritual Heartstrings
February 1, 2008 | 4 Comments
Aaaaahhhhh, Valentine’s Day! Conjures up images (and expectations) of romantic love doesn’t it? They play romantic love songs on the radio, show smushy movies around this time and of course, how could you miss the commercialism (oops sorry, romance!) in the shops with all the teddy bears, ‘I heart you’ signs, choccies, etc.
I am reminded a little of Christmas in that the true meaning of the occasion often becomes obscured with all the commercial hype. Valentine’s Day seems to me to be another opportunity to demonstrate our deepest loving and compassionate feelings not only to ‘the beloved’, but also to family, friends and fellow beings. Surely our hearts are big enough to encompass more than just one other person!?
If you think your love needs to be rationed in case you run out, and that you need to be frugal and highly selective about who receives it, consider asking Infinite Source for more, and it will be gladly be given.
Open up your Crown Chakra to receive an infinite supply of love from the Universe. Focus on your Heart Chakra. Meditate on your heart to expand loving feelings towards everyone. Wear pink and green, buy some pink or green crystals like rose quartz or jade, eat pink and green food (oh yeah!) and treat yourself to warm baths in rose or geranium oil (plus candles – why not?)
And for those who have not yet found Mr Right, let go and let God. He/She knows where you are and where your next partner is. As long as you are relying on yourself for love and happiness, and you’re sharing it around generously, others will be drawn to you and before you know it – wawawa!
I wish us all a wonderful Valentine’s Day but let’s aim to be loving and kind every day. (And give your beloved a break from your expectations – if you want unconditional love, there really is only one Source!)
Love, peace and wisdom
What Makes Your Heart Sing?
February 1, 2008 | 6 Comments
There is a famous quote by William Morris which sums up the advice I give clients about decluttering their homes. He said,
“Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.”
The useful part is easy. There are things we all need – clothes on our back, a pot to cook with, plates to eat off. Tax records and first aid supplies are more examples of things we need. We make room in our homes for these everyday useful things.
The difficulty for most people comes in deciding what is beautiful enough to win a place in their home. Beauty, as they say, is in the eye of the beholder. So the decision’s all yours. But here are some suggestions to make that decision a little easier.
What makes your heart sing? If it’s cooking that makes your heart sing, then 35 cookbooks may seem beautiful to you and therefore win a place in your home. But if you don’t enjoy cooking, and the thought of those books makes you feel bad about your abilities, or the money you spent on them, it’s time to cull that collection.
How does it make you feel? If you’re not sure if something deserves its place, hold that object in your hand and ask yourself how you really feel about it. Does it bring you happy memories? Does it make you smile? If the answer’s yes, then it stays. If you feel sad, annoyed, guilty, that’s bad karma and it needs to go.
I can hear you all now. “But I paid a lot of money for it.” “But my aunt Rosie gave it to me.” You may have paid a lot for it, but if it doesn’t make you feel good, that’s bad energy. And feeling guilty for wasting money only compounds the problem. Learn from it, and don’t make the same mistake twice. Next time you have the urge to buy something, ask “Does it make my heart sing?”
Your aunt Rosie, or any true friend, will understand that you appreciate the thought of her gift but you’re not bonded to it for life. If you don’t love an object and you’re only keeping it from a sense of obligation, that’s more bad energy. If you still can’t part with something, even though it’s neither useful nor beautiful to you, put it in a box. Mark it with an “expiry date” 6 months hence and pack it away. After that time, bring out the box, and again ask yourself, “Does it make my heart sing?”
If you listen to your heart the answer will come easily.
Heartstrings – A Bridge to YOU
February 1, 2008 | 6 Comments
Heartstrings! It’s such an emotive theme isn’t it? It’s a word that instantly takes us to our softer side.
Nostalgia. Love. Pain. Romance. Hurt. Family. Children. Lover. Grandchildren. Empathy. Gratitude. Envy. Support. Rejection. The many things that tear/pull/play at our heartstrings.
On a bigger scale, heartstrings can summon passion, and life force. They can be a path into knowledge of what drives us to make choices and decisions. But what’s more they’ll allow us a chance to also review those choices and decisions.
So what are the emotions that that most vibrate your heartstrings?
Are they predominantly positive and reassuring feelings, or negative and shameful ones?
How often do you check in on them? How well do you embrace them as the real you? Do you see them as the light and shadowy sides of your nature – all with things to teach you? Or do you prefer to only peek at the positive while casting angry glares at those “unacceptable” negative ones?
What are the times, thoughts, and actions that most invigorate your passion and life force?
Or to put it more simply - When are you at your happiest?
How often do you get lost in your sense of duty to loved ones, friends, extended family, work colleagues?
More importantly how often do you follow your heart and your passion, trusting your intuition to lead you to a decision that’s “right for NOW”?
Perhaps connecting regularly to Annie Hutton’s Spiritual Space articles might help you tap into your life force, your soul space, to help you “know” more about your soul, passion, and life force.
Which part of your Self will most disturb those heartstrings of yours?
After all, this is the relationship that will form the footings for the house of Love and Relationships you build over the span of your life. So it’s an obvious place to start.
In what kind of state is your relationship with YOU? Could you give yourself a score out of 10?
If your score is low, what efforts are you putting in to nurturing your relationship with YOU? How are you treating you? Kindly or Harshly? Judgmentally or Compassionately?
How are you rebuilding the bridge of Connection between your Self and You, between your moment-to-moment You and your tender raw and frightened Self? How is that Little Girl inside you? Is she safe and well-protected?
What ONE SIMPLE thing could you do right NOW, as you sit reading this, to improve that most important of your life’s relationships – the one with yourself?
Who are the people in your life whose influence and love can play the strongest music on your heartstrings?
Life is so much easier if we surround ourselves with people who bring out the best in us.
Who do you choose to hang out with and build connections with? Are they people who love you for just being you, or for what you do? When you make a list of the important relationships in your life, and consider each individual on that list, what sounds come from your heartstrings? Are they harsh and grating sounds? Or are they soothing, serene sounds?
What sounds do you want to hear from your heartstrings?
What choices do you need to make to get more of those sounds?
Have a good month and instead of listening to the radio in your car tomorrow, turn off the switch and tune into your heart instead!
Writing to sustain the heart
February 1, 2008 | 7 Comments
Heartstrings:
1. The deepest feelings, the strongest affections
2. One of the nerves or tendons formerly believed to brace and sustain the heart
I love checking the dictionary before I start to write. It often provides just the inspiration that I was looking for.
And I love the idea of having something inside that will brace and sustain my heart (heaven knows it’s needed at times!) It might not be a nerve or a tendon, but our words and our writing can be used for the same effect. To brace and sustain our fragile, human hearts.
Most of this writing is deeply personal, and may never go beyond the pages of our journals. But it’s still writing. The search for the words, the act of putting pen to paper at those times when we need to:
Celebrate: there’s nothing like a burst of love to want to write, to create, to spill the most exuberant words on to the page. I’ve written many a love poem that’s never been shared (wisely so!) but I loved writing them, and enjoy looking back on them now
Grieve: writing it down can help us to process the grief, to name it, then let it go. These tear-stained writings are often kept private – but may be some of the most powerful things we ever write.
Express: we write to express and to communicate, not just our ideas but our emotions and feelings, to open up a window into a corner of our heart. We’re often scared to reveal something of ourselves in this way – but we nearly always feel better when we do
Connect: when we write ‘out loud’ our words will connect, will resonate with others. Writing provides a connection, a heart-string that ties us to others – that makes us stronger, and sustains the heart
Rant: some of those darkest moods, of anger, frustration, bitterness, regret – well they can turn into true, dark, bitter, searing prose. They’re words we keep to ourselves – but seeing them, writing them – well it reminds us of our power – in our words, in our selves.
Learn: the search for the right word or phrase, the hunt for the right expression, it’s not just writing but learning – about how we feel, about what hurts and what inspires, what connects and what feels broken. We learn as we write – and when we look back at what we’d once written.
Tell: this one can be scary too, but just think of how many notes, letters, odes, novels, poems have been written to try and tell another how we feel. And try as we might to craft the perfect prose - it’s the plainest, simplest words that always ring most true.
Remember: our words remain long after the passion is spent, the tears dried or the broken heart mended. They remind us of how things once were, how we once were, how those feelings shaped, moulded, changed us.
Our words remain as a constant, a lingering reminder, a string that remains – bracing and sustaining the heart.
Photo courtesy of sidereal on Flickr
Pulling on Heartstrings…
February 1, 2008 | 3 Comments
There are not too many things that pull on our heartstrings more than kids, animals and our home! I give a selection of titles below that should do that and more…
The Loved Dog: The effective and aggression-free way to train your dog by Oprah Winfrey’s dog trainer.
THE LOVED DOG is Tamar Geller’s revolutionary guide to effective dog-training using the gentlest of methods. Tamar, whose clients include Oprah Winfrey, Ben Affleck and Goldie Hawn, teaches a groundbreaking socialisation technique for training dogs. By strengthening the bond between dog and owner, dogs begin to enjoy listening to commands with no need for aggressive training aids such as verbal or physical reprimands. Using this technique, THE LOVED DOG shows you how to child-proof your dog and teach him good behaviour.
Tamar’s amazing methods have swept across America, changing the way owners train and relate to their canine friends. Tamar believes that loving your dog is the key to its training. In THE LOVED DOG she shows you how to build this relationship.
Lullabies for Little Criminals
Heather O’Neill is an extremely gifted writer and Lullabies for Little Criminals is her breathtaking first novel about one girl’s struggle for survival on the mean streets of Montreal. 
Starved of affection, Baby is attracted to all the wrong people. And when her father betrays her and she is sent to a juvenile detention centre, she is more at risk than ever. Baby’s survival rests on her gift for spinning stories and for cherishing the small crumbs of happiness which fall into her lap.
An Hour At Home
An Hour at Home is a practical and inspiring book, full of exquisite projects for making a beautiful, comfortable home. You will find many ideas, all appropriate for beginners and achievable on a shoestring budget.
Learn simple yet effective techniques for home maintenance, cleaning, decluttering, organising, personalising and decorating, which can all be completed in an hour or less, leaving you time to enjoy the comfort and style of your sanctuary.
The music of heartstrings
February 1, 2008 | 2 Comments
Since we’re talking about love and heart and romance this month, it seemed obvious to choose smooshy songs to lurve by…
Only, we’re really not into them in a big way.
So, in the spirit of each of the spaces in Calm Space this month, we’ve chosen music that says Heart… music that lifts us up… music that fills our soul with love. (OK, yes, that was a little smooshy, but I couldn’t resist…)
Two wildly different music genres. Two beautiful voices. Two amazing women.
Deva Premal - Love is Space
Deva Premal’s second solo album, contains six sacred mantras, including Gatè Gatè, the heart sutra of Buddha, and Om Mani Padme Hum, the ancient Tibetan invocation. Also included is the exquisitely performed West African chant, Idè Werê Werê. The sound texture is rich and expansive, with Deva’s beautiful voice calling us all on to higher ground, and into the sanctuary of our own hearts.
Celine Dion - Taking Chances
Celine Dion’s first studio album in four years… with a voice like an angel, Celine lifts us with her new ‘rock flavoured pop record’. This includes songs written by Linda Perry, N-Yo and Delta Goodrem. Even if you’ve not liked her style before, you may be surprised by this!
Subscribe to Updates
Current Articles
- Stay Tuned to Your Eco Behaviour
- Listening to the melody of life
- Your Breathing Space for August
- Tune In and Turn On … Online
- Relationship Rescue the Low Tech Way
- Sound Space - Brendan Maclean
- Tuning in to our planet and ourselves
- Spiritual Tuning In
- What Is Your Stuff Telling You?
- Are You Tuned In To The Power Of Your Own Words?
- This month we’re tuning in…
Areas of Interest
- Breathing Space
- Challenge Space
- Digital Space
- Happening Space
- Money Space
- Music Space
- Organising Space
- Reading Space
- Relationship Space
- Serenity Space
- Spa Space
- Spiritual Space
- Sustainability Space
- The Space
- Writing Space