Who Needs Christmas…
It’s December, so if we’re going to have a celebration theme, you’d expect to hear talk of Christmas, Hanukkah or some similar celebration.
Always eager to go a bit out of line, I wanted to remind you that celebrations come in all forms, even in December! Some people have birthdays, some attend funerals to celebrate lives loved and lost.
In our family, we’ve just gathered for our first wedding.
The youngest of My Three Sons was married last week so Christmas has paled into insignificance as this eventful celebration worked up its own head of steam!
When Karen and I wrote our first Save Our Sanity book about Christmas, we always intended there’d be more. I’m thinking the next one may well be about weddings! Because while they’re exciting and romantic, weddings are also a financial, organisational and emotional rollercoaster!
It is 33 years since my own wedding. Styles, rituals, ceremonies, and perspectives have changed a lot since then. With few weddings among extended family and friends, I’d really had no exposure to the obscenity that is the cost of weddings in the 21st century. Fortunately these two didn’t feel the need for a gargantuan extravaganza and chose to focus on things that were important to them.
There was much excitement on the night they told us of their engagement. He’d just taken her to the top of the Dandenongs and asked her to marry him. (‘Atta boy – top marks for romancing!)
But I remember saying that night - it doesn’t matter what form of “party” you have to celebrate the wedding, the only important thing on that day is your vows! Standing up and proclaiming to the world how much you love each other and that you are committing to each other for the rest of your lives, that’s what’s important. Not what dress you wear, or where the party’s held!
Many girls spend years dreaming of how their princess wedding will be. This bride found it hard to make decisions about what to wear, because she’d spent more time imagining herself show-jumping her horse than picturing her wedding bouquet.
They were an interesting mix, she so relaxed, she could have been horizontal, he in serious organisational over-drive! The Wedding Co-ordinator was astounded as he was handed lists, timelines, hand-prepared booklets, place-cards, double copies of specific music for service and reception etc etc etc. (See darling, your mother’s organisational genes DO come in handy!)
They were keen to marry in the Dandenongs where they’d shared that romantic proposal and acceptance. The hills are thick with ferns, rhododendrons, and wildlife. In spring, the outdoor setting under the rotunda was romantic, the gardens around us alive with birdsong and flowers.
The ceremony was beautiful from the bride’s arrival to the bubbles we blew over them as they swept down the aisle at the end. As they exchanged their vows the world narrowed for them to just each other. It felt a little like we were intruding on their moment, so focused were they on each other. Their vows WERE important. (So I wasn’t really nagging after all. Bad luck kid, you got a mum whose world is relationships - so you get the soapboxes that go with it.)
As a sign of their new life and to send wishes for them up to the heavens, they released butterflies. It was a cool day and the butterflies lingered in their warm hands, on our shoulders and in granny’s hair! It was a gentle, and unexpectedly moving, ritual to portray their hopes and dreams.
Oh and of course I was teary! What celebration is complete without mums dabbing away the odd tear of joy and chest-bursting pride? (Damn it, here I go again as I write!)
Look, don’t get me wrong the wedding was not without its little dramas! (We won’t talk about my outfit – because it wasn’t about me!)
And this mother, in trying to make everything as perfect as possible, got lost in stress and tears during the lead-up. But in the end, I did sink into the moment and just send out love to my son, and his bride. For my husband and I there was also a deep connection as we shared love and pride at the success of our nurturing through all these years.
It was a new phenomenon in our lives as a family, but it was moving, special, and memory-creating.
We won’t ever forget the look of absolute delight on our son’s face.
Christmas doesn’t matter a jot this year, because we’ve celebrated a Wedding.
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Congratulations to the mother of the groom (and to Sweet P too!) on the beautiful wedding of youngest son!
Thank you for sharing this heartfelt and very moving story with us, Chris… reading it brought tears to my eyes…
(And now you have a wonderful excuse to relax and just enjoy Christmas - you’re done with the big production numbers for the year!)
What a wonderful gift you’ve given us, Chris - to share in your family’s joy. Thank you and congratulations to all!
I completely agree Chris and understand the joy of a December wedding (Ian and I will be celebrating 8 years married next Monday). On top of all that step-son turns 20 just 3 days after Christmas. So I know all about celebrations of all sorts in Christmas.
Just don’t get me started on celebrations in January (NY Day plus 5 birthdays) ….
Congratulations go to your son and new daughter-in-law (it must be nice to have some more female energy in the family).
Wonderful (teary for me) story thank you Chris and congratulations also to you and Ian Leah, woohoo!