We’re Talking about Friendship

Written by: Karen Wallace
November 1, 2007

Welcome to the second edition of The Calm Space. We are all thrilled you have dropped by and would like to thank you for your warm congratulations last month as we launched the beautiful magazine! Your uplifting comments and excited wishes made it all seem so much more special and real to us.

It seems appropriate that this edition we are talking about friendship. I am proud to call each of the contributors to The Calm Space my friend, and believe that is one of the strengths of our team here.

Angela talks about making time for our friends; Marj highlights three very different books about friends and friendship; Annie discusses becoming a friend to yourself first, and the magic in a smile; Chris wonders what friends are for; and Leah keeps in touch the digital way.

This month, we have the excitement of announcing our first ever winner of the monthly prize draw - congratulations to our winner - your copy of Inspired! by Jamie Durie is on it’s way!

Please don’t forget to sign up (if you haven’t already) to be in the draw for our two fabulous prizes this month (designed specifically to bring you some stress relief as Christmas draws closer)!

Thinking about Friendship and Friends

FriendshipsAs I was preparing to write this - and with the theme of friendship firmly front of mind - I attended my daughter’s graduation celebration as she finishes middle school and heads into senior school for her last three years.

As it is an all-girl school, the ceremony was very emotional, and very strongly based on the theme of friendship. (And very different to any ceremony I have attended for my son over the years).

Each girl was given a lovely flower, tied with ribbon as well as their certificate and new pale blue tie. And talking to the girls afterward, the flower (a brightly coloured gerbera) was a very special part of the night - along with all the flowers and hugs they gave their teachers in thanks.

The slide shows each class had put together to celebrate their last three years together showed photos of girls being friends, caring for one another, bonding and growing together.

In her closing remarks, the head girl said “Friends are the bacon bits in the salad of life“.

It brought the house down…

As parents, we know that friendships are vital to our children. We know that how they feel about school and their family and life in general is all seen through the window of their friends. Without friends, life is colourless and drab.

As we grow into adulthood, we get busier and busier. Our relationships, our family and our work commitments start to take over. Until one day we realise that we haven’t made time for our friends in a while. And that somehow, even with everything else that fills our life (all that striving, and working, and loving, and caring…) we need our friends.

Girlfriends are:

  • Our benchmark that we’re not going crazy
  • Our safety valve to vent without repercussions
  • Our mentors to show us the way
  • Our shoulder to cry on
  • Our cheer squad
  • Our rock of understanding
  • Our inspiration by the lives they live
  • Our motivation that there is a better way
  • Our belief that we, too, can get through this
  • Our reality check when things get out of hand
  • Our light when we don’t know which way is up
  • Our mirror that reflects our soul back at us, with feeling

With secure, happy friendships, we become strong and able to go out and face whatever the world throws at us - knowing that someone has our back and someone loves and believes in us.

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it’s the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Girlfriends help us work out who we are. And help us to stand tall and look life in the eye.

What would you think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me.
Lend me your ears and I’ll sing you a song,
And I’ll try not to sing out of key.
I get by with a little help from my friends,
I get high with a little help from my friends,
Going to try with a little help from my friends.

 

~ The Beatles

This month, as we head into the busyness that is the festive season, let’s make time for our friends and remember how very important they are to us - individually and collectively!

Kristine Carlson puts it so well in Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff for Women: “Friendships, especially with your girlfriends, are to be cherished. … cut your friends some slack, and (don’t) hold them to impossible expectations and standards, especially when they are having a bad day. Sometimes we get so close to our friends that it’s easy to forget that they are just human - like we are.”

How will you show your friends how much they mean to you? Can you cut them some slack. Appreciate them. Honour and cherish them. Offer to take their turn at the car pool. Drop a simple dinner around. Bake a cake. Remember their birthday. Ask how they are and then wait for the answer.

Friendship is a living thing that lasts only as long as it is nourished with kindness, empathy and understanding. (anon)

Karen Wallace - encouraging you to find your own calm space | http://www.thecalmspace.com/about#karen

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