April 07 - The Space

Written by: Leah Maclean
July 29, 2007

Everyone needs a little bit of calm to restore their batteries and renew their spirit.

The more deliberate we are in crafting a sanctuary – a retreat – a way of renewal – the more benefit we receive in our busy lives.

Our lives are so busy, so chock full of activity, it is sometimes hard to get enough of what restores us. We all seek an equilibrium, where the draining influences of busyness and stress and giving to others are counterbalanced by those activities or places or people that fill us back up.

Sanctuary can be found on many levels.

We can find sanctuary in a spa – wallowing in treatments and indulgences that restore not only our body but our spirit as well.

We can find sanctuary in our homes – a home that has been consciously created with retreat and renewal in mind can be like taking a deep, deep breath as we arrive home after a busy day.

We can find sanctuary in nature – at the beach, trekking through the bush, or sitting in our own little piece of nature in our backyard or on our verandah. Sometimes it is enough to find a park bench on which to sit and feel the sun and the gentle breeze on our face, to find the strength to go on.

We can find our sanctuary in the privacy of our bathrooms – nothing beats a good soak with a beautiful scent to soothe away the stresses and help us relax.

We can find sanctuary in the company of our family, in the laughter of good friends, in participation in a team sport, or in the arms of the one we love.

We can find our sanctuary just by having some quiet, alone time.

So, where do you find your sanctuary?

This month in Sanctuary we’re talking about creating sanctuary – restoring body, mind and soul so that we are able to cope with anything life throws us with calm and grace.

In The Reading Space, Marj again shares two great books on creating sanctuary; I share with you one of my all-time favourite albums in The Music Space; in the Career Space we briefly discuss the concept of finding respite in the workplace; and in the Guest Space, Angela again joins us talking about creating your own little corner of the world…

I’m thrilled to introduce you to our third new regular contributor for Sanctuary – Chris Owen. Anyone who has been around a little while will have heard me talk about Chris, as she is a dear friend, a colleague and THE woman to turn to for talk about relationships – the intimate kind and the business kind.

This month, Chris shares with us some possibilities for creating sanctuary in our personal relationships. I love how she asks a series of questions that alert us to what is possible in a relationship – and that she helps us realise that we need more than one person (even if our spouse is truly wonderful – like mine:) to satisfy those needs in our life.

Please join me in welcoming Chris – we’re thrilled to have you on board!! Chris…

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If sanctuary can be found in the company of those we love, who is your sanctuary?

Who in your world provides you with a safe haven? Who is your harbour, where the beating waves can be kept at bay?

Who understands you with little or no explanation? Who accepts you just as you are, warts and all? Who loves you with your erratic bits, your neurotic bits, your quirky bits, your endearing bits?

Who can you tell the unappealing “stuff” to? Who can you reveal your mistakes to? Where is it safe to go to reveal just how badly you stuffed up? When you tell them, you’ll survive them telling you that you’ve been dumb - but know also they’ll still be determinedly on your side and ready to fight beside you if necessary?

Who’ll just listen and only ask for the details if they think you’re ready to give them? Who’ll help you work out what to do next so you can leave the harbour without feeling the waves are swamping you? Who’ll remind you of how successfully you hurdled the last problem, and rebuild your battered confidence?

Who’ll pour a glass of wine or hand you a beer? Or know that it’s better to give you a cuppa this time? Who’ll offer you their best chocolate, or make you a meal, or invite you to stay for dinner?

Who will distract you from the chaos for a while with some entertaining stories that allow your brain to rest a bit? Who’ll send you a card to tell you they love you and/or appreciate you, just because they thought you might need it? Who’ll send you an email joke that somehow puts the world back into perspective?

Who’ll give you a hug when you feel unlovable? Who’ll offer the soothing rub to your shoulders, or the foot massage?

Rarely does all this come in one package and if it does for you, then you probably have a fantastic relationship with someone. There aren’t many people who’ll give you all of that unless you’re giving to them in THEIR time of need, and being their safe harbour in return.

But just because it’s not wrapped up in one package doesn’t mean you can’t find sanctuary. You may just need to be selective. When the waves seem sky-high, you just need to choose the safe harbour that’ll fit the problem of the moment.

And if, after reading this, you’ve realized you don’t have ANYONE, then it’s really time to take action.

The first step is to start selecting who amongst your lover, friends, and family, are ripe candidates. Start loving them authentically by offering THEM some of these gifts. It’s amazing what comes back in return!

Chris Owen
Pink Apple Connections

Leah Maclean - demystifying design and technology for small business women | http://www.thecalmspace.com/about#leah

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